This Goof Ball of A Character Can and Will Help You Sell and Write Better

“I’m normally not a praying man but if you’re up there….please save me superman!.”

I hate it when businesses aren’t clear enough in their USP, About Page and their message. It pisses me off and I’m sure it pisses customers off when they are trying to find a solution to their problem.

When I write a blog post, ad copy and heck even a email, I always evoke Hemingway-esk laws of writing.

But I added a new tweak and that tweak is, well take a look.

1. Keep it simple.

2. Short and sweet.

3. Write Clear and use short sentences.

and Write to Homer Simpson.


Let me explain just what the heck I’m talking about.

During a webinar with Dominate Web Media, one of the guest speakers was the awesome Angela Ponsford.

She went through her presentation giving examples of ads, images and ad copy. Then she said something that caused my ears to perk up.

“Always remember to write to Homer Simpson.”

I was floored!

I always knew to always write clear and to be specific BUT I never EVER thought to have Homer Simpson in mind when writing!

For those that are wondering, “just who the heck is Homer Simpson,” well…..enjoy this vid


Now I’m not saying that your customers are dumb and stupid.

No. What I’m talking about and what top level writers are talking about is being clear in your ad copy, blog posts and even emails.

You’d be surprised how many writers seem to forget to keep it simple and be clear. But what’s even more surprising is how many writers DON’T write to Homer Simpson.

So here are 5 rules to help you write so clear that even Homer Simpson can read your message.

  1. “Ivy League Professors Also Need Viagra.” 

What? Well yeah. What I’m talking about is your customer isn’t any different from any other customer out there. They are humans driven by raw uncontrollable desires seeping right out of their pores. Emotions trump Logic. Push those hot buttons to the point that your customer will be foaming at the mouth just to buy from you.

2. “There’s No Pictures In This Book!”

John Doe can’t read above a 5th grade level and that counts to around 20% of the U.S population. So keep your fancy shmancy words out of your ad copy, blogs and emails.

3. “You Obese Monster! Trim some of that fat!”

When in doubt keep your sentences short and sweet. Less than 29 words, even less if possible.

4. “It Ain’t About You At All.”

Yeah your gizmodo can do all these fancy technical things but what can it do for me? You’ve gotta remember, it’s about your customer and what your product can do for them. Benefits, benefits and even more benefits.

And Finally.

5.”Have Fun.

Let down your hair, loosen that tie and unbuckle that belt. Have fun. Enjoy writing to Homer Simpson

Till Then, Stay Hungry,

Demetrio R.

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