“Needy people are like newborns I’ve come to realize.”
During my time at the Paramedic academy, I spent my days studying, studying and studying some more.
It was rare that I had anytime for basic shenanigans with friends so pretty much my social life was nonexistent.
Most of my time was spent in the library or in the lab practicing my skills.
Well, becase of school draining my saved funds I had to get a part time job.
I started working as a parking valet at the hotel up the street from my home.
It was a pretty sweet gig.
Daily tips, free food, random celebrity sightings, and a money making business opportunity that I took advantage of(more on that later.)
Then I met the front desk girl named Mariah.
She was a leggy brunette with beautiful long raven hair that just glistened in the sun.
We hit it off.
It was then that I was reminded that I hadn’t had a girlfriend in over a year.
What should have been an easy “close,” turned into a chase of pure desperation.
And boy did desperation set in like a cold fever.
Everytime when I clocked in for work, the first place I’d visit was the front desk.
I messegaged her every night and immedietly replied when she texted back.
I left long winded messages on her voicemail, and lets not mention the war and peace’esk blocks of texts.
Boy I was needy and it oozed out of me like slime.
Than one day she told me to leave her alone.
I would have preferred a slashing with a rusty butter knife.
I clung to her like a love sick puppy desperate for affection like water in the desert.
It’s mad crazy how this one trait can destroy your relationships in just seconds.
But it’s not just your releationships that it can destroy, it can ruin your business relationships to.
People aren’t dumb.
They can smell desperation a mile away and when it comes to business it’s no different.
What is “Neediness.”
I’ll admit, the word gets thrown around like a ragdoll in a dog training center to the point the word no longer has real meaning.
Some people say that neediness is a trait, a character flaw that’s ingrained in our selves. I don’t know why people feel that it’s a flaw that can’t be changed because it CAN(more on that in a minute.)
When it comes to neediness, it boils down to one and only one belief…
…“I am unable to see my worth, and I need you to make me feel better about myself and my world.”
Read that again and let it sink in.
Needines isn’t a trait that you somehow inherit.
It’s a pattern of behaviors that you developed overtime.
It can plant itself in you at the beggining of your life or heck even at the begining of your business venture.
You have a need BUT you have no clue how to meet that need or even fulfill it.
So when something you lack falls into your lap, you fall back on tactics to keep that around.
Your Needy World Of Business.
Starting out with clients.
I know how rough it can be especially if your starting out.
But think on this.
If your starting out and land your first client, how far are you willing to go to make sure they are happy?
How far will you go to meet their needs inspite of yours?
Will you bend on your price? Or how about if they ask more from you than what you have agreed to? Will you charge them more or will you just accept it as part of the process?
Those needy behaviors do more harm than good when it comes running your own business.
Just to keep that client around you sacrifice your happiness just because your’re needy.
Losing a client or customer is tough I know, but you have to look out for yourself because the other guy won’t.
They want your business BUT they also want your skills and they want them on the cheap(if they can get it.)
Don’t underestimate the power of competition.
Everyone wants a piece and they will take it when they smell blood.
Getting Rid of Neediness.
I’m about to over-simply the heck out of human psychology but here me out.
This helpful advice won’t fix your needy behavior in one day, one month or heck even one year.
It took several years of frustration and fixing bad habits to finally shake the sliminess of needy behaviors to be where I’m at right now.
- Get damn good at your skill(s).
The Greatest Copywriting Freelancer John Carlton found himself in desperate need of cash.
He landed a potential client and had agreed to a fee right upfront.
Right when John was ready to get some work done he got the check but was surprised to find out it was only half of what they agreed on.
There was note that said, “You’d work better if I held on to the other half of the carrot.”
Pissed he sent the check back and told the client this isn’t what they agreed on and to never contact him again.
If you were desperate and in need of cash, what would you have done?
Me? I would have sent the client packing.
When someone alters the deal like that you can bet they’re going to be a pain to deal with.
A few days later John met a client in need of a copywriter and he was willing to pay any fee upfront.
The business relationship turned into friendship and it’s lasted even to this day.
2. Get In And Stay In The Pit.
People who have suffer from phobia’s routinly jump head first in their phobia.
It’s scary has hell but it’s the only way to overcome their fears.
Neediness comes down to one thing(in my opinion.)
It’s the fear of loss.
What we usually don’t get in life becomes a rare thing when we it finally falls in our lap.
But when it does fall in our lap you’d do anything to keep it.
I.E roll out the sacrificing everything to land and keep a client.
Exposing yourself to meeting with clients and dealing with rejections can go a along way for your own peace of mind.
Practice your skills on a friend. Do a mock scenario of anything that you skills entails. That can be sales, negotiating, website design…anything.
It does wonders to calm your nerves and prepares you mentally for rejection.
Remember, You don’t need this deal.
3. Pick Up The I.
Ever got a message that looked like this….
..”hi. i can help you with your site. please call me.”
Or a text message that read like….
….”i miss u. how is everything.”
Notice anything about this messages?
The lower case I.
Jim Camp and his infinite wisdom came up with this concept of picking up the I.
Ever notice coaches become all fire and brimstone whenever their athletes make a mistake?
Some people get offended at watching coaches bring down the heavens at their athletes BUT if you pay closer attention to what they’re saying…
...”You messed up! Damn nearly cost us the game Trevor! You’re better than that!”
The last part of the sentence says it all.
Bobby Knight the infamous basketball coach, known for his temper and verbal abuse of referees always picked up the I for his basketball players.
He knew they were capable of great things so he always reminded them.
Pick up the I for other people who need it.
Always let them known they are better than they actually are.
And remember, always pick the I up for yourself.
4. Walk Away.
In dating there is a rule for men to follow.
Don’t be afraid to walk away.
In business the same rule follows.
You don’t need this deal. And you shouldn’t be afraid to say it.
Remember John and his need for cash.
He wasn’t afraid to walk away from the client and find a better deal elsewhere.
The same should go for you.
Walk away if the deal is bad.
Till Then, Stay Hungry,